The Next Day

I will have to finish up my previous entry first before I start anything new.

I have already explained about my friends, now I will move on to the girl that I am in love with. Her name is Carmen (last names won't be involved) and I have known since I was about 10, which makes it about 10 years now. In a nutshell: I found out from my mom that she liked me; I was young and didn't know what to do about it; she moved slightly far away; last saw her at my brothers baptism when I was 16; we moved to Texas; she started going to school in Idaho; we started talking after our mothers had a phone conversation; been talking on and off for more than a year now; and slowly I became attracted to her more than a friend; and now I am truly in love with her... crazy right? And I am pretty sure that she feels the same way about me, just to show it's not a one way feeling. Okay, now you know about Carmen.


Alright, now moving on to my supposed date I am going to have this Friday, per request of Carmen. Maybe I should explain why she requested it? Yes? Okay. Even though I am in love with her, since I can not physically be with her I have decided that I will not get bent over her dating other people. I came to the conclusion that it is actually better for her that way, because she needs to have someone physically there for her in Idaho. As we were talking yesterday and going over what we did during the weekend, I mentioned that I went to the movies with my brother that Friday to see Be Kind, Rewind. I also mentioned that I was going to go by myself but earlier that day when I was on the phone with my mom and told her I was going to the movies by brother overheard the conversation and wanted to go too. Anyway, Carmen thought I was crazy for going alone and I told her that I didn't see any problem with it because I usually go alone and never had a problem with it. She said that I should not be going by myself, especially not on a Friday night, and not because it's dangerous, because it really isn't. I can't remember exactly what else she said, but it was something about how it isn't healthy/normal or something like that. I guess I am not supposed to spend Friday nights alone, whether I am out or staying home, it doesn't matter. She began to tell me that she has a date this coming Friday with the guy that came to see her in the hospital, which I think is really cool of him for doing. Besides that, she said that it isn't fair for her to be dating and me not to be because it makes her feel uncomfortable (or something similar to that). She came up with the idea that since she will be out on a date this Friday, I should be too. She also said I am too cute not to have a date... I think I bed to differ (I don't consider myself anything special to look at, maybe slightly under average). I tried to explain that this is much easier said than done, for me anyway, especially since I don't know anyone to ask out. And you already know why, but I don't know if she does or not because I never told her that. She went on to say that I should just go ask some random person out, which is TOTALLY CRAZY! That's what I think anyway. I have no clue how I am supposed to come up with a date for this Friday. I want to though because I want Carmen to be proud of me and make her happy. Now I need some kind of magical thing to happen so that I can have a date this Friday (If anyone is reading this, please leave some ideas if you have any).

Oh, something else mentioned in our phone conversation was that this week is my spring break and Carmen became slightly upset that I wasn't on my way up to Idaho to visit her. After she said that, I was also a little upset because I would love to do that and I wish that I could. The only thing getting in my way is work and money. Since I hadn't planned doing this, I wouldn't be able to take the days off. And even if I was able to get the days off, for however many days I am not at work is how many days that I am not going to get paid, which isn't very much to begin with. I have bills that need to be paid at the end of the month and if I miss a week of work, I will still be able to pay the bills, but I may not have money for gas or food. I do have a credit card(s) but I am already at about half of my credit limit and don't want to add anymore to it because my score is going down and the monthly payments are going up. Also, I only have a small amount of cash saved up which is not nearly enough to take a vacation. Ugh, I feel terrible for having these stupid reasons for not being able to see her. I love her so much, I want to say that I would do anything to see her, but that anything may put me into a big hole in the future.

Okay so far I have been typing this post at work (hehe), but now it is time to go home. I think I will have some more to write when I get home. More soon.

Now that I'm home I can continue. Now I can't remember where I was going. I guess now would be a good time to get into what happened today.

Since it is spring break, I am definitely not going to lose any sleep. Because I don't start work until 1:00pm I can sleep in which feels pretty nice up until about 8:30 then I have to get up. So I got and did the regular everyday stuff, shower, brush teeth, get dressed, put contacts in, etc. And then I started re-writing my journal stuff on here. That actually took me a while because I tweaked some things a bit to make them sound more intellectual. After that I ate a blueberry bagel, delicious, and then played some Geometry Wars on my 360. When I started getting bored with that, it was about 11:00am or so, and I remembered that I needed to take my brown Hilfiger jacket to the cleaners... it was beginning to smell a little off. I thought I would knock out two birds with one stone and go to work right after that so I wouldn't have to come back to the apartment. Dropped the jacket off, and then jammed some new tunes on the way to work. Since I was at work so early, I didn't clock-in right away and instead I chilled with my mom for a while. Yes, my mom and I work for the same company... different jobs, same company. 1:00pm rolled around and it was time to head over to TI. I haven't been the most excited for work lately since there really hasn't been a whole lot to do for the last few weeks. As usual, the day went by pretty slow. I got a couple things done, but mostly just browsed the Internets, reading the news and listening to my iPod. As it finally got late enough and practically everyone had left, I decided to get on here to Blogger and finish my writing from this morning. Did that which leads me all the way up to now. Wow, my day was... not very exciting or interesting at all. Oh, but I did forget something, during my lunch break, I went to Starbucks (I had a craving for an iced caramel machiato) and was hoping to find a potential date for this Friday. No luck, but what I did find was way too many little kids there probably all hyped up on caffeine. I wonder which mom there paid for all of their drinks, because she sucks. Kids do not need caffeine, ever, because it was very noisy inside the shop which made sense why all of the adults were sitting outside. Although, it was a very nice day outside today at about 67 degrees and sunny practically all day.

That was my day, a few things may happen tonight (I doubt it) and if they do, I will be sure to write about them tomorrow. As for now though, goodnight.