First Day of Spring: Bleh

So today is the first day Spring. Not that great of a day. Same as any other day; school, work, home, then sleep.

A couple things did happen today. I got to make some cables for an engineer at TI (I hadn't made a cable in a long time). I also found out that I still have to come into work tomorrow even though everyone else will be gone, which totally sucks. Besides work, I got my test back in astronomy class, made 43 out of 50, nothing special.

After work I came home and started talking to Carmen. Found out that a guy she had gone out with a couple times asked her to be his girlfriend. It didn't bother me. I was a little surprised when she said no, but she is smart and told me her reasons why and they're good reasons. If she had said yes, I would have been happy for her and felt extremely envious of him because he would have what I want so badly. I made sure that she knows that she can have whoever she wants as a boyfriend and not worry about me. I told her that I can back off and become more distant so that she won't have awkward feelings. I think she kinda took that a little the wrong way because it almost seemed as though she got a little angry. But then again, you can't really tell the tone of someones voice through instant messages. Anyway, I almost feel like I might be keeping her from having a boyfriend and that is something I don't want to do. If having a boyfriend will make her happy then I want her to be able to do have that. She said she doesn't want to lose me. I believe I can still be her friend, just one that you don't keep in touch with regularly. I love her and always will and no person or object can ever change that, but if all I can be is a friend, I think I can take whatever I can get and be happy. I don't think I will have as much a problem with it either because I have already kinda separated myself from everything and everyone else and am doing just fine.

Sometimes I wonder if maybe I am not supposed to have anyone special in my life and be alone. I seem to being doing fine on my own. I do have a roommate but he is only at the apartment about 25% of the time and spends the rest of the time at other his "partners" house. So I spend practically all of my time at the apartment by myself. I'm used to it and it doesn't bother me.

Well, there is no school tomorrow because it's Good Friday so I get to sleep in a little tomorrow morning. So that's that and I am probably going to be on my way to bed. Good night.