Whoa!

I say whoa because I went most of this week with out a post, even though I did have 2 posts on Monday, it doesn't make up.



I don't really feel like typing too much right now, but I'll get out as much as I can. So in a nutshell of what happened so far this week... I was able to see my grade that I got on my history test from Monday, which was, to me, much better than my previous at 60 compared to 43. I also found a car that I really want on Craigslist. It is an all black 1991 Toyota MR-2 Turbo with only 84,000 miles and it looks very nice, along with a nice looking price to go with it.

I have also been talking to Carmen a lot more lately and I really enjoy it. I have finally found something that describes almost exactly how I feel about her, the song by Savage Garden "Truly Madly Deeply." The only reason it isn't exact is because I still love her more than that. Also, as we were talking on Thursday, she told me about how her drive back up to Idaho is going to be a little rough because she is going by herself. I have decided that because I want to be with her that I will make every effort to make it into California 2 or 3 days before she leaves for Reno, a stop before she goes on to Idaho, and spend some very valuable time with her during those days and then accompany her on her drive to Reno. I really hope that I can make this happen. Taking the days off from work and school will be no problem, but coming up with the money for the plane tickets and then being able to make up the 1 or 2 days pay from work will be an issue. I get excited just thinking about being able to spend a few days with her. Like I always say everytime I mention her, I love her.

And then on to today. School was pretty good, took some notes in history and then watched a movie in government. After that I went back to the apartment to find that I had my grade from my last philosophy paper. I scored 50 out of 50 points again which felt great. Since I told my mom about my last paper that I made a perfect score on, she has been wanting to read my writing assignment so I have been emailing her some of my writing assignments. And before I left for work today, I checked the mail to find I had received a package from Carmen. Inside it was a letter, a picture, a USB drive and a stack of index cards. The letter was very loving and made me smile. The picture was of the temple gates with a note from her on the back which was also very loving. The USB drive had a bunch of pictures and some music which I love. And the index cards had the words "I love you" in every language. All of these things made my day near perfect. Only thing that would make it better would actually make it perfect would be if I was with her. Anyway, so I went to work and I stayed pretty busy so the day went fast which was good to me.

Well, now I am just sitting at home on the couch, watching tv and talking on the phone with... guess who.

I'm done for now. Until tomorrow maybe?

Pissed

*&%@#!!!!! I have found that I really don't like my roommate at all. I honestly do not have a problem with you being gay... there are other reasons why. Maybe I should make a list...

1. If I pay half of all the bills, and I have a key and all of my belongings are inside, I should be able to get into the apartment whenever I want. Right? Please correct me if I am wrong. Apparently I am wrong, because I have been locked out of my own apartment countless times. Even though I have a key, because my roommate is scared the "outside" might get him, so he locks the deadbolt with no keyhole.

2. You can be gay all you want, but your gay pals don't need to be over all the time. They live in their own house with their own bed, they can stay there.
...On a side note: If they don't pay rent, they don't live here, they do NOT get to have a key!Period. Plus, because they are always here when you are, they use water, eat food, and use electricity that they don't pay a dime for. It wouldn't bother me if it wasn't 3+ times per week.

3. Are you afraid to be alone? Sure seems like it.

4. What are you so paranoid about that you need to always lock the door? Even if the house is full of people.

5. You realize we are out of food... so go to the grocery store!

6. Get your own damn personal heater because I don't want to pay another $200 electric bill because you are cold. Boo-hoo

7. Very simple... CHEW WITH YOUR MOUTH CLOSED! UGH! It doesn't matter what you eat, or your fag friend, you both need to learn to eat like humans and not cows.


UGH!!!!! You opened the door this evening because I couldn't get in and I wanted to punch you in the face!


I am sure that whoever may come across this could easily understand.

Skipped 2 Days

Yes, I have gone 2 days without a blog entry. Oh well. I guess I have some typing ahead of me.

Ok, lets start with Saturday. If I can remember. Well, this stinks, I can't remember what I did. I guess I shouldn't go that many days without doing a blog entry, otherwise this happens and then I can't remember what I did. Oh, now I remember. I spent most of the day at my parents house because I wanted to go see a new movie that started playing the day before, Drillbit Taylor, and then found out that the other people in my family wanted to see it too. So we got free ticket from my mom and went and saw the 8:15 show. It was pretty funny, it was like a young Superbad. Thats about all that happened on Saturday.

Moving on to Sunday. I feel kinda bad because this was my third week in a row that I didn't go to church. But besides that, it's Easter and I am not very excited... what is there to be excited about? Candy? I ended up spending a lot of the day by myself in the apartment because I needed to study for my history exam, which was this morning. Other than that, I also went to the grocery store and got some food stuffs. After I got back I did some work on my laptop, it's been acting screwy, so I restored it to "out of the box" state and reinstalled a bunch of software. I only did this after backing up all my music, pictures and documents of course. And now, yes it is running pretty smooth, but I have noticed that the optical drive is starting to crap out on me and now I am noticing that the keyboard is less responsive. So I think that I am going to take it into Circuit City and have it checked out, hopefully sometime this week, since it is still under waranty. I paid for the extended 2 year waranty with accidental protection and now I intend to use it. Later in the afternoon I went back over to my parents house for an Easter dinner kinda thing. But I also did some laundry there and also did some more studdying for my history test. It wasn't much of an Easter though, both my parents had to work and I wound up just eating dinner with my brother. Thats all that happened yesterday.

So far today, I took that history test and I have a feeling I did much better that the last test. Although, there isn't really anywhere to go from a 43% other than up. I actualy felt like I knew some of the questions and was able to answer the short answer and essay questions mostly right I think. Well, now I am waiting for my government class to start and maybe have another entry tomorrow.

First Day of Spring: Bleh

So today is the first day Spring. Not that great of a day. Same as any other day; school, work, home, then sleep.

A couple things did happen today. I got to make some cables for an engineer at TI (I hadn't made a cable in a long time). I also found out that I still have to come into work tomorrow even though everyone else will be gone, which totally sucks. Besides work, I got my test back in astronomy class, made 43 out of 50, nothing special.

After work I came home and started talking to Carmen. Found out that a guy she had gone out with a couple times asked her to be his girlfriend. It didn't bother me. I was a little surprised when she said no, but she is smart and told me her reasons why and they're good reasons. If she had said yes, I would have been happy for her and felt extremely envious of him because he would have what I want so badly. I made sure that she knows that she can have whoever she wants as a boyfriend and not worry about me. I told her that I can back off and become more distant so that she won't have awkward feelings. I think she kinda took that a little the wrong way because it almost seemed as though she got a little angry. But then again, you can't really tell the tone of someones voice through instant messages. Anyway, I almost feel like I might be keeping her from having a boyfriend and that is something I don't want to do. If having a boyfriend will make her happy then I want her to be able to do have that. She said she doesn't want to lose me. I believe I can still be her friend, just one that you don't keep in touch with regularly. I love her and always will and no person or object can ever change that, but if all I can be is a friend, I think I can take whatever I can get and be happy. I don't think I will have as much a problem with it either because I have already kinda separated myself from everything and everyone else and am doing just fine.

Sometimes I wonder if maybe I am not supposed to have anyone special in my life and be alone. I seem to being doing fine on my own. I do have a roommate but he is only at the apartment about 25% of the time and spends the rest of the time at other his "partners" house. So I spend practically all of my time at the apartment by myself. I'm used to it and it doesn't bother me.

Well, there is no school tomorrow because it's Good Friday so I get to sleep in a little tomorrow morning. So that's that and I am probably going to be on my way to bed. Good night.

Two Days Past

Another 2 boring days have gone by. I'm beginning to think that maybe I should hold off every 3 days or so because then maybe my posts will be more interesting. But then again, maybe I should try and post as much as I can to make this become a habit and I can actually have a journal type thing. On the other hand, who is going to miss it if I don't post? I guess I will do what I can to keep up with the days.

So yesterday, I have to take a minute to remember what happened. Well, it was my first day back in astronomy class from spring break, and lucky us, we took a test. It didn't seem so bad though, as soon as I finished I was able to leave, so I was in and out of there in about 30 minutes. Since I don't have any other classes on Tuesdays so I went back to the apartment and got done as much reading done as I could, before falling asleep, from my history book. I believe I got quite a bit done, I actually think that I may be able to finish all the reading before the test on Monday. So I got a good hour nap in before work which was pretty nice. Work was pretty much the same, the inventory room still needs to finish getting organized and all I have been doing is looking up part numbers and manufacturers to add to the part descriptions. That pretty much finishes off yesterday, not really anything happened after work.

And moving on to today, history class was the same, but government was a little interesting. We began presenting our campaign ads for Obama/Clinton. The first group that went made some kind of movie and wound up taking more than half the class time just trying to get it working, and it never did work. On a side note, we were able to see up to about 30 seconds of the video when I began to think that we were limited to 20 seconds per ad, I hope the teacher notices that. Oh, and another side note, the movie didn't work because it was created with a Mac using Quicktime; just one more reason why not to use such bad products. Anyway, our group went next and we did alright, we were certainly better than that first group. One more group went after that and they were okay too. So then I was done with school for the day, went home and got ready for work. And work pretty much went the same as yesterday, and I really don't want to type all that again. So that's today.

Now, I am watching Comedy Central and getting a little sleepy. Later.

Another Day

With how lazy and bored I was yesterday, I am kinda surprised in myself that I didn't post anything. Maybe because I was really that lazy or maybe because nothing happened. I think I like the latter reason more. I guess I could have told you how my brothers baseball game went on Saturday. Ill cover all of that good stuff this morning.



So like I said, I went to my brothers baseball game on Saturday, and it was actually pretty fun. Another plus was that the weather was really nice. It was kinda funny, when I showed up there no one recognized me because I don't go as often to baseball games anymore. Some of the other mom's there even forgot that my parents had another kid. Haha, I thought it was pretty funny, I told them that they keep me stuffed in the closet. Anyway, my brothers team won, 7-3 (I'm pretty sure that was the final score), so after they were all done he came back to the apartment with me and we played some Guitar Hero. He got tired of that and started playing Assassins Creed so I took a nap. I took him back to my parents house around 8 and stayed there for a while. Got back to the apartment around 11-ish.

And Sunday... let me tell you about lazy. I was planning on going to church, but I forgot to set my alarm and didn't wake up in time. Church starts at 9 and I woke-up at about 9:15, so I just didn't go altogether. Instead of church, I got some laundry done and did some more reading in my history book (I'm trying to be more prepared for our next test). But other than that, I did absolutely nothing. Told you I was lazy. So that was that all the way up until I went to bed.

And today, back to the school routine after a week off for spring break, bleh. I guess it wasn't so bad. I went to history which was pretty much exactly the same, then a one hour break, then into my government class. Government was a little different today, instead of being lectured to for 55 minutes we were able to get into our groups and work on our extra credit projects that we started the Friday before spring break. Our extra credit consists of coming up with 2 ads for one of the Democratic Presidential Candidates. One ad is positive and the other negative, or an attack ad. Our group was assigned Barack Obama. And when I say our group, I actually mean 2 groups put together. At the beginning of the semester we were put into groups by our birth month and out of a class of 80, the November group only had 4 people including me. Unlucky for us, 2 people dropped the class so our teacher, Professor Sandoval, let us combine with September because they had only a slightly larger group, by one person. Anyway, we worked on this a little before spring break and were supposed to get some done during spring break, we got a bit done, and then continued work on it today. We worked on it for maybe about 20 minutes and then decided that we would all just rather leave. So that was that and we are supposed to present our ads on Wednesday to the class... we're keeping our fingers crossed it turns out okay.

As for work, pretty much the same old thing, except today I got nothing done. Oh well, I don't think anyone will notice. Besides, it's not like there was a whole lot to do in the first place. Well I'm gonna skip through my work day real fast because I don't want you or anyone else to die of boredom.

And after work I really haven't done too much either. Talked to Carmen of course. It's hard to go a day without her. And she always turns the day around for me, and always makes it better. Okay, I can't help but talk about her, she is always on my mind.... sigh, I don't know if anyone knows how much I love her. It's incomprehensible... maybe even for me.

Well thats all. Good night.

At The Movies...

True to the blog title, this is almost daily. Alright, so I skipped a day, so what. Nothing really important or interesting happened so I figured I would write it today.

Well, yesterday started just how everyother day this week has. I kinda woke up when I felt like it, and did prety much whatever I wanted until it was time for me to get ready for work. But I guess yesterday I actually got stuff done. I went to Starbucks, got a Caffe Mocha, and a strawberry banana parfait. Then I came back back home and decided that I should probably catch up on some reading. So I pulled out my fat, boring history book, and started reading. Of course before I did that I had to get my iPod on the stereo so I can have some good "ambience" music. Anyway, I got though about 5 or 6 pages but then it was time to get my stuff together for work.

On the topic of work, the last 2 days have been pretty decent. I have been spending more time in the inventory area sorting through parts, labeling ESD bags, searching for part information on the internet, and also making sure that all the information is correct in this new program we're using. It may not sound very interesting, but I think I am liking it because it is a change of what I have been doing... which for the past month or so hasn't been very much. Oh, and don't think that I didn't et in a little un-work related internet browsing done too, because I did. You know, checking emails, looking at car parts, browsing through stuff on Craigslist and this new website I learned about, Woot.com. Woot is crazy, they only sell one item all day, until it's sold out and then you will have to wait until tomorrow for a new item; and everyday is something different.

So work wasn't too bad. After work was pretty cool too, well, cool to me for a friday night. I came home, checked my emails, the RSS feeds, found some new music to listen to, and found out that with Google Earth you can now view the stars in the same way (I think that is really cool). So I played with the new Google Earth for a while then I went on my way to AMC Northpark to see Semi-Pro. LOL! That movie is funny! Will Ferrell is hilarious, and along with Andre3000, it only made it funnier. I'm not going to spoil it for whoever may be reading, you'll just have to see it for yourself. There were also some pretty good previews too; another Will Ferrell movie in July (I think), Step Brothers, Harold and Kumar 2: Escape from Guantanamo Bay, a new Chronicles of Narnia, and something else but I can't remember.

After the movie I came back home, platyed some Guitar Hero, browsed the internets and then went to bed. See, I told you not that interesting. I feel kinda bad though because I didn't go on a date, I wanted to... mainly to show Carmen that I can get stuff done. I hope she had fun on her date, while I was at work yesterday she IM'd me saying she was sick. She said she didn't want to get anyone sick but I told her that she should go on her date anyway, I thought it might make her feel better. I just hope she had fun, and of course feels better too.

Aparently today I am going to be going out to Grand Prairie to my brothers baseball tournament . My mom asked me last night to go because she has to be at work. Of course I sighed and said okay I'll go. As for anything else today, that is pretty much it. And nothing else has happened this morning. Well, maybe I can have some more stuff to write tomorrow.

Spring Break: Hump Day

Alright, another day another dollar. Sorta. As for last night, nothing important happened so I will go ahead and move on to today.

Lets see, I got a few things done this morning. I did some laundry, took a test and then it was time to get ready for work. As for work, it wasn't too bad today. I started working in the inventory room and that was interesting just because it was different. I was able to het acquainted with the inventory software and learn where stuff was at. Too bad the inventory thing only lasted until lunch break, because then I got to go back to the boring stuff and sit at a computer and read some news. That is pretty much what I did until it was time to go home.

I was really happy though when I got home because Carmen was having a really good day and she says that it is because she gets to talk to me. I dunno how to explain how good of a feeling that is other than warm and fuzzy. Wow, all I can say is that I really love her. I also found out today that I can call her "sweetheart", in my mind that is who she is. Oh, I also found out that she has a blog too!! How cool is that!? I think I am going to send her a link to this blog, even though it is a little personal. She said that her blog is mainly for family but she trusts me and I can only do the same to trust her in return. Well, I think I will give her the link as soon as this post is done.

Aha! I think it's done for today. Until tomorrow... later.

The Next Day

I will have to finish up my previous entry first before I start anything new.

I have already explained about my friends, now I will move on to the girl that I am in love with. Her name is Carmen (last names won't be involved) and I have known since I was about 10, which makes it about 10 years now. In a nutshell: I found out from my mom that she liked me; I was young and didn't know what to do about it; she moved slightly far away; last saw her at my brothers baptism when I was 16; we moved to Texas; she started going to school in Idaho; we started talking after our mothers had a phone conversation; been talking on and off for more than a year now; and slowly I became attracted to her more than a friend; and now I am truly in love with her... crazy right? And I am pretty sure that she feels the same way about me, just to show it's not a one way feeling. Okay, now you know about Carmen.


Alright, now moving on to my supposed date I am going to have this Friday, per request of Carmen. Maybe I should explain why she requested it? Yes? Okay. Even though I am in love with her, since I can not physically be with her I have decided that I will not get bent over her dating other people. I came to the conclusion that it is actually better for her that way, because she needs to have someone physically there for her in Idaho. As we were talking yesterday and going over what we did during the weekend, I mentioned that I went to the movies with my brother that Friday to see Be Kind, Rewind. I also mentioned that I was going to go by myself but earlier that day when I was on the phone with my mom and told her I was going to the movies by brother overheard the conversation and wanted to go too. Anyway, Carmen thought I was crazy for going alone and I told her that I didn't see any problem with it because I usually go alone and never had a problem with it. She said that I should not be going by myself, especially not on a Friday night, and not because it's dangerous, because it really isn't. I can't remember exactly what else she said, but it was something about how it isn't healthy/normal or something like that. I guess I am not supposed to spend Friday nights alone, whether I am out or staying home, it doesn't matter. She began to tell me that she has a date this coming Friday with the guy that came to see her in the hospital, which I think is really cool of him for doing. Besides that, she said that it isn't fair for her to be dating and me not to be because it makes her feel uncomfortable (or something similar to that). She came up with the idea that since she will be out on a date this Friday, I should be too. She also said I am too cute not to have a date... I think I bed to differ (I don't consider myself anything special to look at, maybe slightly under average). I tried to explain that this is much easier said than done, for me anyway, especially since I don't know anyone to ask out. And you already know why, but I don't know if she does or not because I never told her that. She went on to say that I should just go ask some random person out, which is TOTALLY CRAZY! That's what I think anyway. I have no clue how I am supposed to come up with a date for this Friday. I want to though because I want Carmen to be proud of me and make her happy. Now I need some kind of magical thing to happen so that I can have a date this Friday (If anyone is reading this, please leave some ideas if you have any).

Oh, something else mentioned in our phone conversation was that this week is my spring break and Carmen became slightly upset that I wasn't on my way up to Idaho to visit her. After she said that, I was also a little upset because I would love to do that and I wish that I could. The only thing getting in my way is work and money. Since I hadn't planned doing this, I wouldn't be able to take the days off. And even if I was able to get the days off, for however many days I am not at work is how many days that I am not going to get paid, which isn't very much to begin with. I have bills that need to be paid at the end of the month and if I miss a week of work, I will still be able to pay the bills, but I may not have money for gas or food. I do have a credit card(s) but I am already at about half of my credit limit and don't want to add anymore to it because my score is going down and the monthly payments are going up. Also, I only have a small amount of cash saved up which is not nearly enough to take a vacation. Ugh, I feel terrible for having these stupid reasons for not being able to see her. I love her so much, I want to say that I would do anything to see her, but that anything may put me into a big hole in the future.

Okay so far I have been typing this post at work (hehe), but now it is time to go home. I think I will have some more to write when I get home. More soon.

Now that I'm home I can continue. Now I can't remember where I was going. I guess now would be a good time to get into what happened today.

Since it is spring break, I am definitely not going to lose any sleep. Because I don't start work until 1:00pm I can sleep in which feels pretty nice up until about 8:30 then I have to get up. So I got and did the regular everyday stuff, shower, brush teeth, get dressed, put contacts in, etc. And then I started re-writing my journal stuff on here. That actually took me a while because I tweaked some things a bit to make them sound more intellectual. After that I ate a blueberry bagel, delicious, and then played some Geometry Wars on my 360. When I started getting bored with that, it was about 11:00am or so, and I remembered that I needed to take my brown Hilfiger jacket to the cleaners... it was beginning to smell a little off. I thought I would knock out two birds with one stone and go to work right after that so I wouldn't have to come back to the apartment. Dropped the jacket off, and then jammed some new tunes on the way to work. Since I was at work so early, I didn't clock-in right away and instead I chilled with my mom for a while. Yes, my mom and I work for the same company... different jobs, same company. 1:00pm rolled around and it was time to head over to TI. I haven't been the most excited for work lately since there really hasn't been a whole lot to do for the last few weeks. As usual, the day went by pretty slow. I got a couple things done, but mostly just browsed the Internets, reading the news and listening to my iPod. As it finally got late enough and practically everyone had left, I decided to get on here to Blogger and finish my writing from this morning. Did that which leads me all the way up to now. Wow, my day was... not very exciting or interesting at all. Oh, but I did forget something, during my lunch break, I went to Starbucks (I had a craving for an iced caramel machiato) and was hoping to find a potential date for this Friday. No luck, but what I did find was way too many little kids there probably all hyped up on caffeine. I wonder which mom there paid for all of their drinks, because she sucks. Kids do not need caffeine, ever, because it was very noisy inside the shop which made sense why all of the adults were sitting outside. Although, it was a very nice day outside today at about 67 degrees and sunny practically all day.

That was my day, a few things may happen tonight (I doubt it) and if they do, I will be sure to write about them tomorrow. As for now though, goodnight.

In The Beginning

Before I start writing this, I have to say that I started writing last night in a notebook but then realized that it would be so much easier on the "Internets." So What I am going to do is, before I begin my journal stuff, is put down the date and time of when I began writing yesterday. And I think I am going to talk as if I was talking to a person and not just to myself. Okay, lets begin...

Monday, March 10, 2008 11:53pm

Okay. So this evening I have decided that I should start keeping a journal... or diary, whatever you want to call it. The main reason why I thought that I should start keeping one is because it was brought to my attention this evening that I have no friends. So my plan is to start writing down what I do and maybe I can figure out what I am doing wrong. Not only that, but the girl I seem to have fallen in love with told me that I should go on a date this coming Friday. This is when I realized that I know absolutely no one here, and especially no one to go on a date with.

-I have a section here where I talk about myself and who I am a little, but I think it's best to leave it out since this is on the Internets-

Anyway, ever since we moved here, I have been reluctant to make any friends. I do have a few acquaintances, and I am not counting people from work because I would probably not want to hang out with them on my free time. I do have one "sorta kinda" friend, Robert, my roommate, but I am not counting him either. Now that we know my friend issue, you can conclude that I spend a lot of time by myself. Because of all this alone time, I think and ask myself many questions and the same one always seems to come up. Am I supposed to be alone? I do not want anyone to misunderstand, because I do enjoy the alone time, but when it is the only time that I have I begin to think that maybe this is how I am supposed to live my life. Hopefully you can see my dilemma, maybe you can help me solve it. It is now 12:30am and I have become stuck with another problem, go to sleep or keep writing? I think I will get to bed even though I have all of these things that I want to explain and write about. I will just have to explain more tomorrow, or actually later today. Goodnight.

So that was from last night and I plan on writing some more today sometime. But right now I have a few other priorities but I will try and write some more before I go to work. Later.