1 Month...

Wow. It has almost been one whole month since my last post. It is entirely because of my laziness, if you hadn't guessed that already. Since there has been such a big gap since my last post, I am not exactly sure what to write about. I suppose I could give a quick run down of what I have been up to and maybe highlight a few things. Yeah, I'll do that.

First things first, if anyone has been wondering, I did get a cat. She was 4 months old when I got her and she is a Domestic Short Hair Tabby and her name is Roxy. She is very playful and likes to chase flies. That same week was the week that I started back at school.

I am only taking 7 credits this semester because that is all I need to get my diploma. My classes are physical education, American literature, government and introduction to digital media. So the semester shouldn't be too difficult. So far I an doing decent. I have about a B average in my classes except for my digital media class where I have an A average.

I have also bought a new rc car. This time it's a 1/18th scale buggy from DuraTrax called the Vendetta. It is pretty quick for how small it is but I still want it faster. I have already bought a better battery for it, 7.4V 1500mAh, and am looking into getting a new electronic speed control and motor from Castle Creations. For my other car, I installed a new 1st gear in the transmission along with another set of wheels and tires.

What else...

I am now a member of 24 Hour Fitness and go to the gym to workout three times a week after I get off work. I have been doing that for about a month and haven't lost a pound. Instead I have gained about 7 to a total of ~182 pounds. One of my goals by doing this was to get my weight back down to about 165 by my birthday which is turning into quite a challenge that I may not be able to accomplish.

More recently I went to the Hot Import Nights Car Show at the Dallas Convention Center. Even though I went by myself, I still had a great time. There were a lot of very nice cars (Supra's, M3's, NSX's, Evo's, etc.) and some very nice girls too. I took about 160 pictures, some video and bought a couple of things while I was there. I don't have the video uploaded anywhere yet but my pictures are up on both my Flickr and Picasa pages.

And this past weekend was also very fun too. On Friday I left work early to go to the House Of Blues in Dallas for a concert. I took my brother with me and we saw The Ting Tings (funny name, great artist). We both only knew of two songs of theirs but after the concert, because they were so good (better than Cute Is What We Aim For concert), we liked them all. So I bought their cd, We Started Nothing, and have been listening to it like crazy. Then on Saturday I drove out to Grand Prairie to Lone Star Park for the Suzuki Ride and Drive event. I was very surprised when I got there because I was expecting it to be very busy and crowded. Because it wasn't busy at all, I was able to get started right away on my driving. I had the opportunity to drive the XL.7, Grand Vitara and both the SX4 Crossover and SX4 Sport. The event consisted of three courses where you were able to drive the cars and see how they performed under more intense conditions. The guys there were so cool that one of them even took the time to teach me how to drive a manual transmission. Overall, I really enjoyed the whole thing. Plus they had some free stuff for me; a hat, bag, tire pressure gauge and of course a catalog of Suzuki's vehicles. The best part about it was that it was absolutely free.

Well, I guess that's the gist of what has been going on lately. Still, I am very sorry about no posts. I am going to go with the excuse that school work is getting in the way. Oh, and so is Wii Sports... yes, I also bought a Wii. Walmart finally had some in stock and I went there right away when I found out.

Anyway, more posts soon... maybe?

Sorta New Things

At the end of last week, during work, out of no where I had the urge to play Final Fantasy. But not any Final Fantasy, I wanted to play FFVII (for those that don't understand Roman Numerals, that's FF7). I had never had the chance to actually beat that game before because I never owned it. So I thought that I would pull out my Playstation (the original one) and find a copy of FFVII on Ebay or Craigslist.

I get my Playstation out, plug it all in, and put in Tony Hawk's Pro Skater (the first one) to make sure that everything is still in working order. Which it was for the most part. The console over the years has seemed to have quit reading memory cards... no bueno. Plus my controllers don't exactly work the best either. So I figured that I could just buy another Playstation as well.

I find a Playstation on Ebay for $2.50 and end up winning the auction at $8.50, which really wasn't that bad of a deal. Now to find a Final Fantasy. This was easier than I thought, just not as cheap as I thought. Games were ranging anywhere from $30 to $130. Practically falling over in my chair, I checked over at CL to see what people had there and to see if I could find a better price. I was able to find one at $50 that is pretty close to my house. And being impatient, I dealt with the higher price to have the game now. So then all I had to wait on was my Playstation.

And so my Playstation arrived today. W00T! It looks to be in nice condition, about the same as mine... but it still reads memory cards, yay. It also came with two memory cards, two analog controllers and the necessary cables. Only thing is that it smells a little of cigarettes, one of the memory cards is for Playstation 2 and one of the analog sticks on each of controllers are damaged... ooops, more than one thing. Oh, and here is the link to my unboxing pictures and a few others.

Yay. I almost forgot, I think I might get a cat tomorrow. I will tell you about it if I get it, tomorrow.

Quick

Just a quick little write up.

I was just reading over some of my RSS/Atom subscriptions and came across something I would much rather have preferred to never read. I don't think I want to quote what it said but I can tell you how it made me feel.

Very sad. Yes. And it came from one single sentence. It even happened before I finished reading that one sentence. It was like suddenly being stabbed (or something like that). It was so sad even, that I am beginning to feel depressed. Why? Because I know that I could have done something about it. But instead, I chose to do nothing. So maybe I deserve the sadness? I am leaning towards the fact that this is something that I do deserve because of the poor choice(s) that I have made in my life. I guess it is the price that I must pay, but it will be something that I must deal with forever. That is how long the consequences of me not making the one most right choice of my life will be.

I am not exactly sure what to do now. I want to unsubscribe from that feed. But at the same time stay subscribed because maybe it was a bad joke. Then again...

Even stranger, not really (makes sense to me), is that now I have an even stronger disliking of Texas and wish that I had never moved here. Maybe I will write about this more. Maybe not. It is not something that I really want to remember, so I really don't want to look back at this blog years from now and experience the same feelings again.

So much for "Quick".

First Day Of School

Yet again, it is the first day of school. By now I am very tired of this. It is such an old, and now boring, feeling. Although, I am getting a few laughs because of the large amount of lost people. Because this is the beginning of the Fall semester, there are a lot of new students to the school, and what appears to be more than usual. There is actually a guy that is standing over in a corner just helping people find their classroom. I am assuming that he is a student just waiting for his class to begin, like what I am doing now.

Besides those lost students, the classes that I am taking this semester have too many books, hah. Especially my American Literature class. I have three books just for that class. Three heavy books. I guess that makes up for two of my other classes that don't require any books. Maybe I shouldn't be complaining.

Other than school. A couple interesting this happened this past weekend. I guess it deserves to be interesting though seeing that it is the last weekend of Summer, not literally of course. Most of all of the interesting things happened yesterday. I'll just go through the timeline of yesterday.

First, I slept in till about 10:00 or so and then took a shower and got ready to go to Wal-Mart. Haha, that makes me laugh, "getting ready to go to Wal-Mart." My brother and I went to Wal-mart to get a 5-pack of 8cm DVD's that we had hid the day before because they were the last pack on sale and we didn't want to wait in the ridiculously long lines. So we got our DVD's, and then we went to the back of the store to check to see if they had any Wii's in stock. Sure enough, they didn't. Instead of buying a Wii, I bought a new video camera. It's decent. It is very small, records onto SD cards and has a long battery life. After that, we had to get my brothers practice gear and meet him at the park because he spent the night at a friends house. When that was all said and done, it was time for me to get gas. On the way to get the gas, I found a turtle! Crazy! Since the turtle was some type of water turtle, I returned him to a nearby pond. Hopefully that made him happy.

Class starts soon. Later.

Blog Stuff

Ok. My new blog is up. I have decided a name and have two posts up already. Of course, you could just check out my profile and you would then see it, but me being as nice as I am will give you a link anyway.

Enjoy ;)

Not Quite Obvious

Something New

I have been thinking about starting up a new blog lately. This one will basically be for exactly what the title says, "Almost Daily Journal". But there are some things that aren't really a part of my life that wouldn't need to be inluded in my journal, so why put them here? For the last couple of days, that was my only reasoning to create a new blog. But then I stumbled (no relation to StumbleUpon) a few other things this afternoon. I found that I really feel that I need to share my opinion on things. It is a slightly crazy reason, but because I would normally be too shy to let someone know what I think of something directly, the internets (politically corectness please) is where I turn to.

I haven't really thought up of a name for it yet, but I am going to start working on it as soon as I am finished typing this up. So when it is finished and my first post is up, I will have a link over here for you to click and follow me to. Oh, and don't forget to subscribe if you like it.

Something

Multitasking. I am writing a post on my blog and broadcasting on BlogTV.com at the same time. Crazy. Actually, it's really not that hard when there isn't anyone watching your show, so it is pretty easy for me. But if anyone is interested, you are more than welcome to watch my show. I don't really have a schedule, I just get on when I feel like and and when I have time. But you could still subscribe and that way you will know when I will be broadcasting.

Moving on. Something interesting happened earlier this evening, I received and email saying that a photo of mine could possibly end up in a city guide for Salt Lake City, Utah. The company that will be publishing the guide is Schmap. I know, it's a silly name. They seem to have come across some photos from my photostream on Flickr and found a particular photo that they liked. It is really almost flattering. I am no pro at photography, not even semi-pro (Haha, good movie), but the picture seemed to be good enough to be included in a city guide. It is exciting. My name and a link to my full res photo will be added to the photo. But, I probably shouldn't get too excited yet because they didn't say that my photo would be included for sure but that it is a possibility. I actually hope that it makes it and that people find my photos and enjoy the pictures that I have taken. It all sounds cool to me.

What else. School starts back up next week. Bleh. I guess I am a little excited though because it will hopefully earn me my associates degree and I am also looking forward to my digital media class. It definitely sounds like the most fun class I am taking this semester. I will be able to get hands-on experience with Photoshop, Flash, Premiere, Acid (I think) and a couple other pieces of software. I am especially looking forward to learning more about Photoshop and Premiere. I still don't think I have all my stuff ready for school yet, for supplies anyway. I need to get a few notebooks, a pencil and pick up my books from the school. My books are already ready for me to pick up; I ordered them online about a month and a half ago.

Besides school, work is back to it's normal self. Hopefully I won't have to cover any ones shift for a while, mainly because I won't be able to because of school. It is nice getting back to my normal hours though.

By the way. I uploaded some more photos to Flickr, just a few, and added two videos to my YouTube channel. If anyone is interested, please help yourself.

Later.

Hey

Let's see what has been going on.

My sister is always angry at someone... WTF is up with that? That just pisses me off (a vent coming on?). I think I know of a perfect way to fix it, but I would probably be arrested/go to jail for permenantly damaging her face. Anyway, she just happened to be angry at me a few minutes ago. So now I want to hit her with a car...

Moving on. I got my RC car running again. I recieved a brand new engine in the mail, broke it in, and now the car runs great. I still have a few things I need to fix on it though. Things like the bbody mount posts, fuel line, new engine mount screws, and now today (thanks to a stupid neighbor) I am going to need a new steering connecting rod. Even though this stuff needs to be fixed, the parts are pretty cheap and it's fun to fix. I have already had the experience of fixing the car twice. First was the motor (broken connecting rod), second was a bent dogbone along with broken rear differential. Now I get to fix it again. I can't decide if I want to order the parts or just head to the hobby shop and pick up the parts tomorrow. Suggestions?

I have also been covering some extra hours at work this week, and also two weeks ago. I'm happy about getting the overtime because I had to pay off my tuition and books. Speaking of school, I had completely forgot when I am supposed to start and thought it would be a good idea to check. Good thing I did because I start the 25th of this month, that's only a week from Monday. I had no idea it was back so soon. I still need to head up to Six Flags.

No more for now. Peace.

If they keep on doing this shit...

I saw this on Digg. And it all makes perfect sense. What is wrong with the MPAA when they criticize you even when you haven't done anything wrong.

read more | digg story

Microsoft's "Mojave" Experiment Has a Website

Microsoft's "new" operating system's [Mojave] website Video of the experiment to be released on Tuesday!

read more digg story


Wow, to all those that are against Vista. Shame on you. You people should really watch these videos and see what it is all about. The thing that I really don't like the most about some/most people is how they claim to dislike or hate something when they have zero actual knowledge about the object. You can have absolutely zero say in whether something is good or bad unless you have real knowledge about it. Rarely (never say never) should anyone ever rely on another person's opinion on almost anything.

Just had to make sure that everyone understands what is going on.

End.

It's Another Week

Yep, so today is yet another Monday to the beginning of another week. This week is somewhat special though. I am lucky enough to have the opportunity to work 20 hours of overtime this week. Lucky right? I guess you could think of that as good and bad. Good because I will be making time and a half for 20 hours but bad because I will be working 20 extra hours. Oh well. I could really use the money though because I need to pay my tuition for this upcoming fall semester and I also need to buy my books. Besides tuition, I have a bunch of bills that need to be paid. Why must the fun stuff in the world cost so much? I guess I don't mind having the extra work to do this week. Last summer I worked two full-time jobs for a couple months and it really didn't bother me at all. I guess I miss being that busy.

This past weekend, I was looking forward to seeing the new Batman movie, Batman: The Dark Knight, but it is sold out still and therefore I can't get a free ticket... not yet anyway. Instead of Batman, I was able to see Wanted again. That movie is really one of my all time favorite movies. Maybe because it has everything that any guy pretty much likes to see in a movie. Stuff blows up, cars/people flying through the air, bullets everywhere, good fighting scenes, and a hot chick. This movie covers all the bases.

I think that is all I have for right now. Later

A Few Things

The strangest topic came up in a conversation between myself and a co-worker of mine. It started out as a list of who we think are good rappers, then to good singers, then about people that are actors and singers. From there, it segued into our favorite actors/actresses, then just actresses and finally, those that we think are ugly actresses. Just a little strange (and kinda mean, but still funny). I thought it might be a pretty interesting list of people to write down. So here is our list of actresses that we think are ugly.

Ugly Actresses

1. Teri Hatcher

2. Drew Barrymore

3. Marcia Cross

4. Nicole Richie

5. Uma Therman

6. Kirsten Dunst

7. Cher

That's all that I can remember right now. To make this seem not so mean, I'll also put up a few that we think are least ugly

Un-Ugly Actresses

1. Megan Fox

2. Angelina Jolie

3. Charlize Theron

4. Jennifer Garner

5. Jessica Alba

6. Jessica Biel

So there you have it. Kind of a weird conversation. Thought it was a good mention though.

Moving on. I guess I don't have much else to say. I found a cool website, FriendFeed.com, that keeps track of all things, mostly, to do with social networking. It shows updates for just about any social networking website profile that you tell it to keep track of. Plus, if you have friends that are signed up, you can view their updates too. Awesome, right? I thought so. Anyway, they even have an app for Facebook and I think people should check it out if they're into that sorta thing. I also have taken a new liking to Gradual Report on YouTube. I think it is hilarious, check that out too.

I guess that all for now. "Tune in tomorrow — same Bat-time, same Bat-channel!" (If I had a bat-channel and a bat-time, that's where you would go)

Sitting Here...

I feel bad. I am sitting, not doing anything really important, just checking out the internets and seeing what's new. As I began checking my email, Facebook, YouTube, BlogTV, etc. accounts I remembered my Blogger. And now I feel bad because I have been neglecting it. (I'm sorry blog). I look at my blog title, Almost Daily Journal, and really feel like I have been extremely lazy with it. It really isn't hard to write a paragraph or two at least every other day. So I will begin trying harder to stay on top of that.

As for an update in my life and it's happenings....

I am done with school for the summer. Yay! I now have until the end of August to do as close to nothing as I can. Since I have been out of school I have only accomplished a few things, spending money is the main one. I bought a nitro RC car, but I haven't been able to play with it because the con rod and piston head destroyed themselves while breaking in the motor. So I sent the motor in today in exchange for a new one. Also, my brother and I went to a concert at the House of Blues here in Dallas which was pretty cool. We saw Powerspace, Danger Radio, Ace Enders and Cute Is What We Aim For (the only one group we knew). Ace Enders, by the way, are a pretty decent rock/alternative/pop/indie band, if you are into that kind of thing.

As for how I spend my mornings now that I don't have to be at school; I sleep in. Not really that late, but normally to about 9:00am. And to help pass by time in the mornings, I have re-started(?) playing WoW (World of Warcraft) again (me=total nerd). I also get in some Xbox360 play time for some local multiplayer stuff. And I cannot forget to mention the internets. I have started watching plenty of YouTube and BlogTV stuff. So much so that I have even felt the need to create my own accounts and create my own videos and broadcast my own show (off the deep end).

Even though my nerd-side has just about taken over for the summer, I still go outside and play airsoft, attempt riding skateboards, and head to the movie theater almost every weekend. Also, please keep in mind that I still have a full-time job, so all of this is happening while I am not working.

As for vacation stuff. I want to make another trip out to California but am unsure if it is really going to happen, mainly because of money and work. I would at least like to make a trip out to Six Flags for a Saturday before school resumes. Maybe some people from California will come out here to visit? (highly doubt it).

Well, that's that for now. Again, sorry blog... and any readers(?) for the neglect of posts. I get a slap in the back of the head for that.


On a side note. I created a "My Map" with Google Maps of places that I like. If anyone feels the inclination to check it out, feel free to do so. The link is here

Wow! Extremely Busy

It has definitely been too long since my last post... I apologize... I think. I have really been quite busy lately. With taking summer classes, working full time and then my butt load of homework. It has just been a little crazy.

Yep, my summer classes at Richland started last Monday. And by the end of this week, I will be halfway through with them, so the semester is really short. Most people take one class per summer semester because you are limited to only 7 credit hours and the classes are very fast. But I decided that I was going to take two. And because I am still working full time, I am only able to take one in class while the other has to be online. I am really not that dumb, because my hard class is history and I actually have to go to that class, while my online class... is introduction to computers. Yes, introduction to computers... so that should be super easy. As for the history class, it is everyday, from 9:50am to 12:00pm, and hopefully, with all these hours in class, it seems a little easier.

Ok. So that was a quick little update, and now I have to go and do some reading for my history class. I am not exactly sure when I will have another post, so, if anyone reads, please be patient. The last day of my summer classes is July 3.

Lazy Update

I haven't updated in almost two weeks and I really don't have any excuse other than I have been really lazy. Well, I guess I can explain a little about what I've been up to.

Last weekend I moved out of the apartment and moved back into my parents house. I know that is such a sorry thing but I really didn't have any other decent options. Anyway, I moved all my things Saturday and Sunday and cleaned on Monday, a very spectacular Memorial Day. All of it pretty much sucked because it was something like 1000 degrees outside all weekend. Also because when I got my things back to my parents house, I didn't have anywhere to put them because my sister had decided not to clean her stuff out of the room that I would be moving into. So I not only had to clean the entire apartment, because all Robert did was vacuum his room, but I then had to clean the room that I hadn't even slept in yet at my parents house. It was pretty crappy.

Moving on... I also saw the new Indiana Jones movie twice this last weekend, once by myself on Thursday and again with my family on Monday. I was pretty happy too because last Friday I was given the new Blackberry Curve (8320 for T-Mobile) for work and on Saturday morning got a LG Voyager VX10000. So that made the weekend a little better. I was also excited all week because I was supposed to be getting my new Dell XPS M1530 on Thursday but it was delayed and now isn't supposed to arrive until Monday.

Other than those few things, I have just been doing the normal go to work thing and that's about it. I don't have any plans this weekend, and if it is as hot as it was last weekend,I don't want to have plans.

The Way Home From Work

Alright, I know that I should probably be writing about other things but...

On the way home from work, I got in a race with a Corolla S, probably 04-05, and lost :( I know that their engine is a lot newer than mine but still. It was so frustrating because I didn't just lose, there was a good distance between us. Ugh, I am really tired of my car now.

A Little More Than A Week

Yep, it's been a little over a week since my last post but I think that I have a good excuse... finals. So I was putting more focus into school trying to make sure that I would at least pass my classes because this semester was very challenging for me. Especially my history class and it doesn't help that I never liked the subject either. I was also strugling with my governement class too. I also had philosophy which wasn't too bad, I sucked at all of the tests but aced all of the writing assignments. My last class is astronomy which was really a piece of cake to begin with.

So the day to take finals came and I knew that I did pretty bad on my history final after I took it because it just didn't feel right. Then, I had to take my government final right after that. Even though my government final was comprehensive, it still seemed like a much easier test, except for the "fill in the blank" questions, than our other tests.

The next day I only had one final, astronomy. Now I didn't study for this test at all and I can say that there were maybe only 2 or 3 questions that I didn't get mostly because of how the questions is worded (my professor is Chinese and makes a few grammatical mistakes). After that test I was done until my philosophy test which was the next day. Since my philosophy test is online, you would expect it to be pretty easy and thats exactly what I thought, but I was wrong. During the test I felt like I was answering correctly but when I finished and got my grade, I did much worse, a 64%. At least that wasn't the only thing I had to do; I also had to turn in my final writing assignment which I was hoping would come out much better than my test score.

After a few days all of my grades were in. The final verdict was 1 A, 2 B's and 1 D with a GPA of 2.846 for the semester. I am sure you can guess which grades go to which classes, but I was very surprised to see a second B. The other B goes to my government class.... crazy?! Other than that I am happy with my grades because my only goal this semester was to pass all of my classes and that is exactly what I did. Now time for summer.

I was really wanting to move back to California this summer but after having a look at what I have left here for school, I decided that I will stay until next January or February. All that I have left is a total of 5 classes. So I will be taking 2 classes during the first summer semester which starts in June and maybe 1 or 2 more the second half of summer. That would leave me with 1 or 2 (depending on how many I take during the summer) classes left to take in the fall before I can finally earn my associates. I figured, with the help of some other people's opinions, that it is better that I stay and get my degree because it will also give me time to save up some money for the move back to California.

Well, I am tired of typing for now... I should be back later with some more.

What is happening?

Why do I care so much? Am I in envy? Is it admiration? Am I jealous? Maybe I just don't want to see the truth. I know now, from experience, that the truth is very painful. You can't help who you love, can you?

I can't help but think that maybe it was all wrong to begin with. If I never pursued it, I would never have had to deal with these feelings. For me, it borderlines the impossible to deal with.

I think I have a bad habit of giving up and running away from things. If it's not there, you don't have to deal with it. Makes me wonder what/who is in Canada. If it is nobody and nothing, perfect. It should be easier to forget things there. Right?

Who am I kidding. I will end up answering these questions myself. What is the point of even asking.

I read the last chapter in my philosophy book about the meaning of life. Nobody knows the answer. Pointless.

...

School Things

I could use any help I can get on this decision I need to make for school. First, let me explain...

Ever since moving to Texas, I have always wanted to move back to California and continue going to school there, and this summer I actually have a great opportunity to finally do that. The only thing that is preventing me from going is the out-of-state tuition fees and that I do not know how many classes will be transferable to the school in California. I also spoke with a counselor from my current school and found out that I am only about one more semester away from earning my associates degree here. ...Before I go on, let me separate the pros and cons for each situation.

If I stay in Texas a while longer:
I will be able to complete my associates degree.
I can begin having my bank statements sent to my aunts house so that by fall 09, so I do not have to pay out-of-state tuition.
Save money.
I have a strong desire to move back to California.
May not have a job or a place to stay.

Moving to California now:
Good job and a place to stay.
Getting away from Texas.
Closer to friends and other family... and the one I love.
Enjoy the school more.
Pay more tuition.
May lose some earned credits.

What do you think?

Well, after writing these down, and talking to someone about it, I think that my best decision would be to stay in Texas a little while longer. I may lose a semester of school in the spring, but I think I will be much better off. I will have a degree and more money. But I am still having a really hard decision on choosing what I want to do, but I am leaning more towards staying now. I still need to talk to my parents about it.

My Vacation

I went on vacation two weeks ago now, and I said last week that I will write about what I did on my vacation. But I'm having second thoughts now. While everything that happened on my vacation was good and made me very happy, there are also a few things that were a result of my vacation that I do not want to remember; I am having a hard enough time right now trying to forget the things that have happened. So, for anyone that may read this and be interested in knowing what happened, I am sorry because I will not be writing about any of it.

...

I need help. The girl that I will fly to the moon for... doesn't really want me to fly to the moon for her. Maybe if she was any other girl, I wouldn't, but this one is the most special to me. I love her so much so that I cannot describe it with any words that I know. I have told her this before, but I don't think that she was able to fully understand the amount I was talking about. But as much as I love her, the amount that she says she loves me, I believe that I had only one chance to prove it to her and I screwed it up because I wasn't prepared. Now I am almost sure that she will find another person, one that is prepared. I know what I need to do and am working on it so that if she happens to be the "exception to the rule", maybe the one that got away can also be the one that returns. This is all I have to hope for but my chances are slim to none. Only time will tell, unless someone has any better ideas. I don't know how long I can wait, and if it is too long, I know for sure that I will be too late.

Contrary to what I said before, under certain circumstances, I am not ready to give up... not on her.

Some Advice From Experience

Plain and simple. Don't fall in love, because if it breaks it hurts the worst. I couldn't go through that again, so the only solution that I came up with is to keep that from happening by avoiding everything that may lead to it. I am not going to make that mistake ever again.

Update:
There is nothing that I can do... she left me and isn't going to come back regardless of anything I say or do. I am not good enough. I give up.

What to do?

I know that I haven't had a post in a long time but I have a very good reason why I haven't though. I really don't feel like going into all the details right now because I have something more important on my mind at the moment that I feel that I need to get out. Do not worry though, I will eventually explain what has been happening in my 20+ post-less days.

So Carmen is now my girlfriend and I am very happy to say that, but there is one problem/issue (not really a bad thing as the word problem may make you think). We had gotten into talking about marriage and when we would think about actually marrying someone. My answer was about three years from now, although this isn't definite. I don't know what her exact answer was but she says that three years is a long time. I am not the arguing type, we each have our own opinions is all. My thought process was that three years is good because I should be mostly finished with school, have a better job and I would still only be 23 years old. If I was to marry her, three years from now, she should also either be mostly done or finished with school and still only be either 21 or 22 (depending on the month). I thought that this sounded like a decent plan, but she told me that she cannot wait that long, maybe I am being selfish and only thinking of myself. We had a conversation on the phone about this last night and were unable to come up with a solution. I told her that I would give it some thought which is pretty much all I did last night because if there was any girl that I wanted to marry, she is the one.

As I was thinking about this dilemma last night, I came up with a few different ideas but I only had two that could actually work. The first one was that maybe I am not supposed to get married to her at all and maybe not ever. I don't think that I would have a problem with not getting married to her, or anyone at all. Plus I don't mind living by myself either. The one thing that I know that I will have a really hard time with is knowing that she would marry, love, and have a family with someone else. My second possibility would be to not wait as long to get married even though I may not think that I am ready to get married. With this second idea, I have slowly come up with other reasons why this may be a better solution. The most significant reason is that I love her and always will so it wouldn't matter when we get married because I just want to be with her forever.

Last night as we talked on the phone it sounded to me like she was upset. I hope that she isn't but I guess she the right to be because I may have disappointed her. I will do anything to keep her.

Been a While

It's been a while since my last post but I think I have a good reason why. I blame school. I have been getting slightly more homework than usual and I think that my teachers have decided to get together and have thei tests at the same time. I have my reasons for thinking this too. Next week, I have 3 tests, one on Sunday, Monday and Wednesday and now it looks like I might have another test next week too for my astronomy class. Just perfect. The week that I will be leaving on vacation is going to be the roughest week of school. Not only do I have these tests to worry about, but I also have a project in my government class dues that Wednesday. Anyway class is about to start. I don't know when I will be back to make another post, but I will if I find the time.

Stuck

I don't know what to do. I will be going to California soon and some of my friends know about it now. This is all fine and dandy, but because they don't get to see me they want to hang out while I am there. What they don't know is that I want to go there to spend all of what time I have with Carmen. I would like to spend time with all my friends, but I won't have the time. So now I am feeling like a lousy friend because I won't be spending as much time as my friends, or myself, would want. Although I have made plans for double date thing with Shingo, Gabby, Carmen and myself, I still feel bad for not including everyone. Also, seeing as I am going there with nothing but some clothes and a little cash, Carmen and her family will be taking care of everything else and I would feel really bad if all I did was make Carmen drive me around to see my friends. After all, it is her spring break and she should be able to do whatever she wants. And this is only about my friends, I still have family in California that I will feel bad for not visiting too. I am almost beginning to think that maybe this wasn't that great of an idea if I won't be able to spend time with everyone.

I feel like I am disowning my friends and my family on this trip. Brings me back to the question that I may be meant to spend my life alone. After all, I am already on my way because in May I will be moving out of this apartment and into another one by myself. I think Carmen worries about me being alone, but unless I move back in with my parents (extreme last resort), this is my only option. I think that tonight will be difficult for sleep because of all these thoughts. Homework isn't helping either. I also think that these thoughts will be dragging on with me through the weekend. ...it's gonna suck...

A Few Days

Only a few days since my last post. Another weekend came and went but I have made plans for a vacation which I am extremely excited about. Let me tell you what happened...

Friday was prett ordinary, but I was a little excited from a conversation I had with Carmen. We had been talking about her upcoming spring break and how great it would be if I could come out to California and visit her. After putting some thought into it, I decided that this would be a really good thing. I wuld fly out to California, stay with her for a few days and then drive with her back to Idaho. Then I noticed airline prices! The ticket from DFW to OAK wasn't bad, but the one from IDA back to DFW was much more exspensive. Carmen told me that she was planning on staying in Reno with her aunt and uncle for the night when we got there, so to save a little money, I figured it would be better to fly out of Reno instead of IDA. That way I could at least be with her for half of the drive. But then she really surprised me, she said she would get me a tcket into California using her frequent flyer miles so I would only have to pay for one ticket. When she told me on Friday that everything was all taken care of and that I had a ticket in my name, I changed my plans and decided that would be able to drive with her all the way up to Idaho. That next morning we would drive down to SLC and then I would fly back to DFW from there. So you could say that Friday was a very happy day. Besides school and work, everything else went very well.

Saturday I had to drive my youngest brother to Mansfield for his baseball tournament. I made sure that I was at my parents house early to pick him up and have plenty of time to get there, but he apparently had other plans. We wound up leaving with just enough tme to get there and then after we had been on the road for about ten minutes, he told me that he forgot his cleats. So we made our way back to the house, got his shoes, and started back on our way again. I knew that he was going to be late now and sure enough, he was, and didn't have any time to warm up with the rest of the team. Anyway, the fields there in Mansfield are really cool. The place is called Field of Dreams. The fields were smaller replicas of of MLB fields such as Wrigley, Ebotts, Fenway... Even though his team lost both of their games, it was still a cool park to play at. That evening I went with my sister to some dirt track out in Crandall to watch crazy redneck people "race", I would prefer to call it wreck. It wasn't too bad, but I would have prefered to gome home after it was over instead of going into the it area for another 30 minutes.

Sunday I pretty much did homework and cleaning all day. But then in the evening I headed back to my parents house because my sister wanted someone to go to the movies with to see Stop-Loss. We wound up missing the 7:30 show and the next showing wasn't until 10:30. To burn the time, I spent some time playing with my brothers outside taking pictures and attempting to skateboard. It was really funny but fun at the same time. My sister and I made it to the 10:30 movie and got out a little after midnight. It was actually a much better movie than I expected it to be. I dropped my sister off at home and then began my own drive back to the apartment. I had to call Carmen though, I had been thinking about her all day and really missed talking to her not talking to her. We talked the entire drive home and then all the way to about 2am, or maybe a little longer. It was very comforting to talk to her.

Monday was pretty much the same as any weekday, nothing special. School then work and then of course talking to Carmen in the evening. We have been having more and more frequent phone conversations lately, but am certainly not going to complain about it. Because I don't get to see her, hearing her voice is the closest I can be to her.

Yesterday was very much the same as Monday, school, work and Carmen. Only difference was that my my classes were different and I didn't have a phone conversation, only an IM conversation with Carmen. Another thing was also a little different, I found out that my roommate will be moving May 18th and so I will need to start looking for a new place to live also. That shouldn't be so hard though. Another thing was a little different with Carmen too. She told me that she want to be mine and only mine, and I gave her that she can have that under one condition... I want it to be that way forever. I honestly believe now that if there was anyone that I want to get married to, it is her and no one else.

Whoa!

I say whoa because I went most of this week with out a post, even though I did have 2 posts on Monday, it doesn't make up.



I don't really feel like typing too much right now, but I'll get out as much as I can. So in a nutshell of what happened so far this week... I was able to see my grade that I got on my history test from Monday, which was, to me, much better than my previous at 60 compared to 43. I also found a car that I really want on Craigslist. It is an all black 1991 Toyota MR-2 Turbo with only 84,000 miles and it looks very nice, along with a nice looking price to go with it.

I have also been talking to Carmen a lot more lately and I really enjoy it. I have finally found something that describes almost exactly how I feel about her, the song by Savage Garden "Truly Madly Deeply." The only reason it isn't exact is because I still love her more than that. Also, as we were talking on Thursday, she told me about how her drive back up to Idaho is going to be a little rough because she is going by herself. I have decided that because I want to be with her that I will make every effort to make it into California 2 or 3 days before she leaves for Reno, a stop before she goes on to Idaho, and spend some very valuable time with her during those days and then accompany her on her drive to Reno. I really hope that I can make this happen. Taking the days off from work and school will be no problem, but coming up with the money for the plane tickets and then being able to make up the 1 or 2 days pay from work will be an issue. I get excited just thinking about being able to spend a few days with her. Like I always say everytime I mention her, I love her.

And then on to today. School was pretty good, took some notes in history and then watched a movie in government. After that I went back to the apartment to find that I had my grade from my last philosophy paper. I scored 50 out of 50 points again which felt great. Since I told my mom about my last paper that I made a perfect score on, she has been wanting to read my writing assignment so I have been emailing her some of my writing assignments. And before I left for work today, I checked the mail to find I had received a package from Carmen. Inside it was a letter, a picture, a USB drive and a stack of index cards. The letter was very loving and made me smile. The picture was of the temple gates with a note from her on the back which was also very loving. The USB drive had a bunch of pictures and some music which I love. And the index cards had the words "I love you" in every language. All of these things made my day near perfect. Only thing that would make it better would actually make it perfect would be if I was with her. Anyway, so I went to work and I stayed pretty busy so the day went fast which was good to me.

Well, now I am just sitting at home on the couch, watching tv and talking on the phone with... guess who.

I'm done for now. Until tomorrow maybe?

Pissed

*&%@#!!!!! I have found that I really don't like my roommate at all. I honestly do not have a problem with you being gay... there are other reasons why. Maybe I should make a list...

1. If I pay half of all the bills, and I have a key and all of my belongings are inside, I should be able to get into the apartment whenever I want. Right? Please correct me if I am wrong. Apparently I am wrong, because I have been locked out of my own apartment countless times. Even though I have a key, because my roommate is scared the "outside" might get him, so he locks the deadbolt with no keyhole.

2. You can be gay all you want, but your gay pals don't need to be over all the time. They live in their own house with their own bed, they can stay there.
...On a side note: If they don't pay rent, they don't live here, they do NOT get to have a key!Period. Plus, because they are always here when you are, they use water, eat food, and use electricity that they don't pay a dime for. It wouldn't bother me if it wasn't 3+ times per week.

3. Are you afraid to be alone? Sure seems like it.

4. What are you so paranoid about that you need to always lock the door? Even if the house is full of people.

5. You realize we are out of food... so go to the grocery store!

6. Get your own damn personal heater because I don't want to pay another $200 electric bill because you are cold. Boo-hoo

7. Very simple... CHEW WITH YOUR MOUTH CLOSED! UGH! It doesn't matter what you eat, or your fag friend, you both need to learn to eat like humans and not cows.


UGH!!!!! You opened the door this evening because I couldn't get in and I wanted to punch you in the face!


I am sure that whoever may come across this could easily understand.

Skipped 2 Days

Yes, I have gone 2 days without a blog entry. Oh well. I guess I have some typing ahead of me.

Ok, lets start with Saturday. If I can remember. Well, this stinks, I can't remember what I did. I guess I shouldn't go that many days without doing a blog entry, otherwise this happens and then I can't remember what I did. Oh, now I remember. I spent most of the day at my parents house because I wanted to go see a new movie that started playing the day before, Drillbit Taylor, and then found out that the other people in my family wanted to see it too. So we got free ticket from my mom and went and saw the 8:15 show. It was pretty funny, it was like a young Superbad. Thats about all that happened on Saturday.

Moving on to Sunday. I feel kinda bad because this was my third week in a row that I didn't go to church. But besides that, it's Easter and I am not very excited... what is there to be excited about? Candy? I ended up spending a lot of the day by myself in the apartment because I needed to study for my history exam, which was this morning. Other than that, I also went to the grocery store and got some food stuffs. After I got back I did some work on my laptop, it's been acting screwy, so I restored it to "out of the box" state and reinstalled a bunch of software. I only did this after backing up all my music, pictures and documents of course. And now, yes it is running pretty smooth, but I have noticed that the optical drive is starting to crap out on me and now I am noticing that the keyboard is less responsive. So I think that I am going to take it into Circuit City and have it checked out, hopefully sometime this week, since it is still under waranty. I paid for the extended 2 year waranty with accidental protection and now I intend to use it. Later in the afternoon I went back over to my parents house for an Easter dinner kinda thing. But I also did some laundry there and also did some more studdying for my history test. It wasn't much of an Easter though, both my parents had to work and I wound up just eating dinner with my brother. Thats all that happened yesterday.

So far today, I took that history test and I have a feeling I did much better that the last test. Although, there isn't really anywhere to go from a 43% other than up. I actualy felt like I knew some of the questions and was able to answer the short answer and essay questions mostly right I think. Well, now I am waiting for my government class to start and maybe have another entry tomorrow.

First Day of Spring: Bleh

So today is the first day Spring. Not that great of a day. Same as any other day; school, work, home, then sleep.

A couple things did happen today. I got to make some cables for an engineer at TI (I hadn't made a cable in a long time). I also found out that I still have to come into work tomorrow even though everyone else will be gone, which totally sucks. Besides work, I got my test back in astronomy class, made 43 out of 50, nothing special.

After work I came home and started talking to Carmen. Found out that a guy she had gone out with a couple times asked her to be his girlfriend. It didn't bother me. I was a little surprised when she said no, but she is smart and told me her reasons why and they're good reasons. If she had said yes, I would have been happy for her and felt extremely envious of him because he would have what I want so badly. I made sure that she knows that she can have whoever she wants as a boyfriend and not worry about me. I told her that I can back off and become more distant so that she won't have awkward feelings. I think she kinda took that a little the wrong way because it almost seemed as though she got a little angry. But then again, you can't really tell the tone of someones voice through instant messages. Anyway, I almost feel like I might be keeping her from having a boyfriend and that is something I don't want to do. If having a boyfriend will make her happy then I want her to be able to do have that. She said she doesn't want to lose me. I believe I can still be her friend, just one that you don't keep in touch with regularly. I love her and always will and no person or object can ever change that, but if all I can be is a friend, I think I can take whatever I can get and be happy. I don't think I will have as much a problem with it either because I have already kinda separated myself from everything and everyone else and am doing just fine.

Sometimes I wonder if maybe I am not supposed to have anyone special in my life and be alone. I seem to being doing fine on my own. I do have a roommate but he is only at the apartment about 25% of the time and spends the rest of the time at other his "partners" house. So I spend practically all of my time at the apartment by myself. I'm used to it and it doesn't bother me.

Well, there is no school tomorrow because it's Good Friday so I get to sleep in a little tomorrow morning. So that's that and I am probably going to be on my way to bed. Good night.

Two Days Past

Another 2 boring days have gone by. I'm beginning to think that maybe I should hold off every 3 days or so because then maybe my posts will be more interesting. But then again, maybe I should try and post as much as I can to make this become a habit and I can actually have a journal type thing. On the other hand, who is going to miss it if I don't post? I guess I will do what I can to keep up with the days.

So yesterday, I have to take a minute to remember what happened. Well, it was my first day back in astronomy class from spring break, and lucky us, we took a test. It didn't seem so bad though, as soon as I finished I was able to leave, so I was in and out of there in about 30 minutes. Since I don't have any other classes on Tuesdays so I went back to the apartment and got done as much reading done as I could, before falling asleep, from my history book. I believe I got quite a bit done, I actually think that I may be able to finish all the reading before the test on Monday. So I got a good hour nap in before work which was pretty nice. Work was pretty much the same, the inventory room still needs to finish getting organized and all I have been doing is looking up part numbers and manufacturers to add to the part descriptions. That pretty much finishes off yesterday, not really anything happened after work.

And moving on to today, history class was the same, but government was a little interesting. We began presenting our campaign ads for Obama/Clinton. The first group that went made some kind of movie and wound up taking more than half the class time just trying to get it working, and it never did work. On a side note, we were able to see up to about 30 seconds of the video when I began to think that we were limited to 20 seconds per ad, I hope the teacher notices that. Oh, and another side note, the movie didn't work because it was created with a Mac using Quicktime; just one more reason why not to use such bad products. Anyway, our group went next and we did alright, we were certainly better than that first group. One more group went after that and they were okay too. So then I was done with school for the day, went home and got ready for work. And work pretty much went the same as yesterday, and I really don't want to type all that again. So that's today.

Now, I am watching Comedy Central and getting a little sleepy. Later.

Another Day

With how lazy and bored I was yesterday, I am kinda surprised in myself that I didn't post anything. Maybe because I was really that lazy or maybe because nothing happened. I think I like the latter reason more. I guess I could have told you how my brothers baseball game went on Saturday. Ill cover all of that good stuff this morning.



So like I said, I went to my brothers baseball game on Saturday, and it was actually pretty fun. Another plus was that the weather was really nice. It was kinda funny, when I showed up there no one recognized me because I don't go as often to baseball games anymore. Some of the other mom's there even forgot that my parents had another kid. Haha, I thought it was pretty funny, I told them that they keep me stuffed in the closet. Anyway, my brothers team won, 7-3 (I'm pretty sure that was the final score), so after they were all done he came back to the apartment with me and we played some Guitar Hero. He got tired of that and started playing Assassins Creed so I took a nap. I took him back to my parents house around 8 and stayed there for a while. Got back to the apartment around 11-ish.

And Sunday... let me tell you about lazy. I was planning on going to church, but I forgot to set my alarm and didn't wake up in time. Church starts at 9 and I woke-up at about 9:15, so I just didn't go altogether. Instead of church, I got some laundry done and did some more reading in my history book (I'm trying to be more prepared for our next test). But other than that, I did absolutely nothing. Told you I was lazy. So that was that all the way up until I went to bed.

And today, back to the school routine after a week off for spring break, bleh. I guess it wasn't so bad. I went to history which was pretty much exactly the same, then a one hour break, then into my government class. Government was a little different today, instead of being lectured to for 55 minutes we were able to get into our groups and work on our extra credit projects that we started the Friday before spring break. Our extra credit consists of coming up with 2 ads for one of the Democratic Presidential Candidates. One ad is positive and the other negative, or an attack ad. Our group was assigned Barack Obama. And when I say our group, I actually mean 2 groups put together. At the beginning of the semester we were put into groups by our birth month and out of a class of 80, the November group only had 4 people including me. Unlucky for us, 2 people dropped the class so our teacher, Professor Sandoval, let us combine with September because they had only a slightly larger group, by one person. Anyway, we worked on this a little before spring break and were supposed to get some done during spring break, we got a bit done, and then continued work on it today. We worked on it for maybe about 20 minutes and then decided that we would all just rather leave. So that was that and we are supposed to present our ads on Wednesday to the class... we're keeping our fingers crossed it turns out okay.

As for work, pretty much the same old thing, except today I got nothing done. Oh well, I don't think anyone will notice. Besides, it's not like there was a whole lot to do in the first place. Well I'm gonna skip through my work day real fast because I don't want you or anyone else to die of boredom.

And after work I really haven't done too much either. Talked to Carmen of course. It's hard to go a day without her. And she always turns the day around for me, and always makes it better. Okay, I can't help but talk about her, she is always on my mind.... sigh, I don't know if anyone knows how much I love her. It's incomprehensible... maybe even for me.

Well thats all. Good night.

At The Movies...

True to the blog title, this is almost daily. Alright, so I skipped a day, so what. Nothing really important or interesting happened so I figured I would write it today.

Well, yesterday started just how everyother day this week has. I kinda woke up when I felt like it, and did prety much whatever I wanted until it was time for me to get ready for work. But I guess yesterday I actually got stuff done. I went to Starbucks, got a Caffe Mocha, and a strawberry banana parfait. Then I came back back home and decided that I should probably catch up on some reading. So I pulled out my fat, boring history book, and started reading. Of course before I did that I had to get my iPod on the stereo so I can have some good "ambience" music. Anyway, I got though about 5 or 6 pages but then it was time to get my stuff together for work.

On the topic of work, the last 2 days have been pretty decent. I have been spending more time in the inventory area sorting through parts, labeling ESD bags, searching for part information on the internet, and also making sure that all the information is correct in this new program we're using. It may not sound very interesting, but I think I am liking it because it is a change of what I have been doing... which for the past month or so hasn't been very much. Oh, and don't think that I didn't et in a little un-work related internet browsing done too, because I did. You know, checking emails, looking at car parts, browsing through stuff on Craigslist and this new website I learned about, Woot.com. Woot is crazy, they only sell one item all day, until it's sold out and then you will have to wait until tomorrow for a new item; and everyday is something different.

So work wasn't too bad. After work was pretty cool too, well, cool to me for a friday night. I came home, checked my emails, the RSS feeds, found some new music to listen to, and found out that with Google Earth you can now view the stars in the same way (I think that is really cool). So I played with the new Google Earth for a while then I went on my way to AMC Northpark to see Semi-Pro. LOL! That movie is funny! Will Ferrell is hilarious, and along with Andre3000, it only made it funnier. I'm not going to spoil it for whoever may be reading, you'll just have to see it for yourself. There were also some pretty good previews too; another Will Ferrell movie in July (I think), Step Brothers, Harold and Kumar 2: Escape from Guantanamo Bay, a new Chronicles of Narnia, and something else but I can't remember.

After the movie I came back home, platyed some Guitar Hero, browsed the internets and then went to bed. See, I told you not that interesting. I feel kinda bad though because I didn't go on a date, I wanted to... mainly to show Carmen that I can get stuff done. I hope she had fun on her date, while I was at work yesterday she IM'd me saying she was sick. She said she didn't want to get anyone sick but I told her that she should go on her date anyway, I thought it might make her feel better. I just hope she had fun, and of course feels better too.

Aparently today I am going to be going out to Grand Prairie to my brothers baseball tournament . My mom asked me last night to go because she has to be at work. Of course I sighed and said okay I'll go. As for anything else today, that is pretty much it. And nothing else has happened this morning. Well, maybe I can have some more stuff to write tomorrow.

Spring Break: Hump Day

Alright, another day another dollar. Sorta. As for last night, nothing important happened so I will go ahead and move on to today.

Lets see, I got a few things done this morning. I did some laundry, took a test and then it was time to get ready for work. As for work, it wasn't too bad today. I started working in the inventory room and that was interesting just because it was different. I was able to het acquainted with the inventory software and learn where stuff was at. Too bad the inventory thing only lasted until lunch break, because then I got to go back to the boring stuff and sit at a computer and read some news. That is pretty much what I did until it was time to go home.

I was really happy though when I got home because Carmen was having a really good day and she says that it is because she gets to talk to me. I dunno how to explain how good of a feeling that is other than warm and fuzzy. Wow, all I can say is that I really love her. I also found out today that I can call her "sweetheart", in my mind that is who she is. Oh, I also found out that she has a blog too!! How cool is that!? I think I am going to send her a link to this blog, even though it is a little personal. She said that her blog is mainly for family but she trusts me and I can only do the same to trust her in return. Well, I think I will give her the link as soon as this post is done.

Aha! I think it's done for today. Until tomorrow... later.

The Next Day

I will have to finish up my previous entry first before I start anything new.

I have already explained about my friends, now I will move on to the girl that I am in love with. Her name is Carmen (last names won't be involved) and I have known since I was about 10, which makes it about 10 years now. In a nutshell: I found out from my mom that she liked me; I was young and didn't know what to do about it; she moved slightly far away; last saw her at my brothers baptism when I was 16; we moved to Texas; she started going to school in Idaho; we started talking after our mothers had a phone conversation; been talking on and off for more than a year now; and slowly I became attracted to her more than a friend; and now I am truly in love with her... crazy right? And I am pretty sure that she feels the same way about me, just to show it's not a one way feeling. Okay, now you know about Carmen.


Alright, now moving on to my supposed date I am going to have this Friday, per request of Carmen. Maybe I should explain why she requested it? Yes? Okay. Even though I am in love with her, since I can not physically be with her I have decided that I will not get bent over her dating other people. I came to the conclusion that it is actually better for her that way, because she needs to have someone physically there for her in Idaho. As we were talking yesterday and going over what we did during the weekend, I mentioned that I went to the movies with my brother that Friday to see Be Kind, Rewind. I also mentioned that I was going to go by myself but earlier that day when I was on the phone with my mom and told her I was going to the movies by brother overheard the conversation and wanted to go too. Anyway, Carmen thought I was crazy for going alone and I told her that I didn't see any problem with it because I usually go alone and never had a problem with it. She said that I should not be going by myself, especially not on a Friday night, and not because it's dangerous, because it really isn't. I can't remember exactly what else she said, but it was something about how it isn't healthy/normal or something like that. I guess I am not supposed to spend Friday nights alone, whether I am out or staying home, it doesn't matter. She began to tell me that she has a date this coming Friday with the guy that came to see her in the hospital, which I think is really cool of him for doing. Besides that, she said that it isn't fair for her to be dating and me not to be because it makes her feel uncomfortable (or something similar to that). She came up with the idea that since she will be out on a date this Friday, I should be too. She also said I am too cute not to have a date... I think I bed to differ (I don't consider myself anything special to look at, maybe slightly under average). I tried to explain that this is much easier said than done, for me anyway, especially since I don't know anyone to ask out. And you already know why, but I don't know if she does or not because I never told her that. She went on to say that I should just go ask some random person out, which is TOTALLY CRAZY! That's what I think anyway. I have no clue how I am supposed to come up with a date for this Friday. I want to though because I want Carmen to be proud of me and make her happy. Now I need some kind of magical thing to happen so that I can have a date this Friday (If anyone is reading this, please leave some ideas if you have any).

Oh, something else mentioned in our phone conversation was that this week is my spring break and Carmen became slightly upset that I wasn't on my way up to Idaho to visit her. After she said that, I was also a little upset because I would love to do that and I wish that I could. The only thing getting in my way is work and money. Since I hadn't planned doing this, I wouldn't be able to take the days off. And even if I was able to get the days off, for however many days I am not at work is how many days that I am not going to get paid, which isn't very much to begin with. I have bills that need to be paid at the end of the month and if I miss a week of work, I will still be able to pay the bills, but I may not have money for gas or food. I do have a credit card(s) but I am already at about half of my credit limit and don't want to add anymore to it because my score is going down and the monthly payments are going up. Also, I only have a small amount of cash saved up which is not nearly enough to take a vacation. Ugh, I feel terrible for having these stupid reasons for not being able to see her. I love her so much, I want to say that I would do anything to see her, but that anything may put me into a big hole in the future.

Okay so far I have been typing this post at work (hehe), but now it is time to go home. I think I will have some more to write when I get home. More soon.

Now that I'm home I can continue. Now I can't remember where I was going. I guess now would be a good time to get into what happened today.

Since it is spring break, I am definitely not going to lose any sleep. Because I don't start work until 1:00pm I can sleep in which feels pretty nice up until about 8:30 then I have to get up. So I got and did the regular everyday stuff, shower, brush teeth, get dressed, put contacts in, etc. And then I started re-writing my journal stuff on here. That actually took me a while because I tweaked some things a bit to make them sound more intellectual. After that I ate a blueberry bagel, delicious, and then played some Geometry Wars on my 360. When I started getting bored with that, it was about 11:00am or so, and I remembered that I needed to take my brown Hilfiger jacket to the cleaners... it was beginning to smell a little off. I thought I would knock out two birds with one stone and go to work right after that so I wouldn't have to come back to the apartment. Dropped the jacket off, and then jammed some new tunes on the way to work. Since I was at work so early, I didn't clock-in right away and instead I chilled with my mom for a while. Yes, my mom and I work for the same company... different jobs, same company. 1:00pm rolled around and it was time to head over to TI. I haven't been the most excited for work lately since there really hasn't been a whole lot to do for the last few weeks. As usual, the day went by pretty slow. I got a couple things done, but mostly just browsed the Internets, reading the news and listening to my iPod. As it finally got late enough and practically everyone had left, I decided to get on here to Blogger and finish my writing from this morning. Did that which leads me all the way up to now. Wow, my day was... not very exciting or interesting at all. Oh, but I did forget something, during my lunch break, I went to Starbucks (I had a craving for an iced caramel machiato) and was hoping to find a potential date for this Friday. No luck, but what I did find was way too many little kids there probably all hyped up on caffeine. I wonder which mom there paid for all of their drinks, because she sucks. Kids do not need caffeine, ever, because it was very noisy inside the shop which made sense why all of the adults were sitting outside. Although, it was a very nice day outside today at about 67 degrees and sunny practically all day.

That was my day, a few things may happen tonight (I doubt it) and if they do, I will be sure to write about them tomorrow. As for now though, goodnight.

In The Beginning

Before I start writing this, I have to say that I started writing last night in a notebook but then realized that it would be so much easier on the "Internets." So What I am going to do is, before I begin my journal stuff, is put down the date and time of when I began writing yesterday. And I think I am going to talk as if I was talking to a person and not just to myself. Okay, lets begin...

Monday, March 10, 2008 11:53pm

Okay. So this evening I have decided that I should start keeping a journal... or diary, whatever you want to call it. The main reason why I thought that I should start keeping one is because it was brought to my attention this evening that I have no friends. So my plan is to start writing down what I do and maybe I can figure out what I am doing wrong. Not only that, but the girl I seem to have fallen in love with told me that I should go on a date this coming Friday. This is when I realized that I know absolutely no one here, and especially no one to go on a date with.

-I have a section here where I talk about myself and who I am a little, but I think it's best to leave it out since this is on the Internets-

Anyway, ever since we moved here, I have been reluctant to make any friends. I do have a few acquaintances, and I am not counting people from work because I would probably not want to hang out with them on my free time. I do have one "sorta kinda" friend, Robert, my roommate, but I am not counting him either. Now that we know my friend issue, you can conclude that I spend a lot of time by myself. Because of all this alone time, I think and ask myself many questions and the same one always seems to come up. Am I supposed to be alone? I do not want anyone to misunderstand, because I do enjoy the alone time, but when it is the only time that I have I begin to think that maybe this is how I am supposed to live my life. Hopefully you can see my dilemma, maybe you can help me solve it. It is now 12:30am and I have become stuck with another problem, go to sleep or keep writing? I think I will get to bed even though I have all of these things that I want to explain and write about. I will just have to explain more tomorrow, or actually later today. Goodnight.

So that was from last night and I plan on writing some more today sometime. But right now I have a few other priorities but I will try and write some more before I go to work. Later.